Soon there may be a new brand and blend of coffee that some feel will totally revolutionize the coffee industry, and it’s happening here in Ol’ Kentucky. To the bold, brave, and undiscerning coffee lovers, this may be the long-awaited breakthrough in taste, aroma, and chewiness you have awaited. Following years of research and development and repeated failures, it is finally here! Admittedly, this coffee is not for everyone; but, it will be well worth the wait! For those who seek excitement and adventure, we are pleased to announce 🎺🎺🎺:
Kentucky Burgoo Stew Brew Coffee!
As you may know, Burgoo is created from left-overs dumped into a large kettle and slowly cooked down to a divine mixture of colors, tastes, and sounds. It requires four or more meats, six or more vegetables, plus herbs, spices, and perhaps a splash of Pap’s home brew.
In like manner, Burgoo coffee is a mixture of left-over, stale, abandoned beans from throughout the world. But, when combined they create a unique taste sensation--kinda. The beans represent Mexico, Hawaii, Jamaica, Kenya—well over 20 or more great forests—creating a true, one-of-a-kind blend. But as wonderful as this sounds, this is only the beginning.
Next, the sweet essence of Burgoo stew is filtered through pure burlap to a gurgling, savory broth. The perfect combination of cabbage, okra, wild onions/ramps, and asparagus, coupled with potatoes, carrots, and peas, create a taste impossible to describe. Added to this delectable mixture is a medley of extraordinary meats from the wild as well as the barnyard: deer, squirrel, rabbit, raccoon, possum, and groundhog together with pig, cow, mule, and turkey—assembled especially for everyone’s taste. The Burgoo coffee beans are bathed in the rich Burgoo stew, then roasted, ground, and bagged. WOW!
No doubt you are anxiously wondering how and when you can be the first to experience such joy. We have had one exploratory discussion with a coffee company; but, to our chagrin, they left confused and babbling. Abraham Lincoln once said: "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Much like President Lincoln, it may take coffee makers a while to fully appreciate the enormity of this culinary breakthrough. But just imagine, though, what this will do for the economy of Kentucky.
If you would enjoy following the future of this venture and perhaps sample one of the first cups, then you will want to stay tuned to the Stormcells blog. It will be here first! Note: There is also a health benefit to the Burgoo coffee, as the concoction appears to kill a case of worms. (Or cause it--we are doing more testing.)
--Dr. Soggy Bottoms – Mule Laboratories
This blog was written by fictional guest blogger, Soggy Bottoms, from the fictional Mule Laboratories, concerning the obvious fictional Burgoo Brew Stew Coffee.